Two months, two years

It’s been almost two months since we lost baby #3.

Since the miscarriage, I’ve known several people who have announced their pregnancies. And I have consciously had to choose to rejoice with them. I am truly happy for them, but I have to remember their joy or timing in sharing their joy has absolutely nothing to do with me or our losses.

Today I received an email from BabyCenter saying “Week 14! Congratulations!” Obviously, BabyCenter was happy that I supposedly made it to the second trimester. I immediately had my husband unsubscribe me from that automated “service.”

Next month will also be the 2 year mark from when we lost baby #1.

So basically today is really just a sucky day.

I am so thankful for our precious son (who is #2 in the lineup of pregnancies) and that he is growing and healthy. Not to mention sweet, smart, handsome, silly, etc, etc,….

I am also so thankful for a husband who supports me in all things, no matter how silly they are. And who lets me grieve, even two months and two years after losing our babies.

And I am mostly so thankful for God and his promises for our family. Days like today are no fun for me or anyone who gets the “joy” of interacting with me. But through it all, God is sovereign. He has already made a way. He loves and cares for us, and for my children (here, in heaven, and still to come). He will not fail.

This is my mantra today. He will not fail.

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8 thoughts on “Two months, two years

  1. I know the world expects us to have a happy face but through my life struggles, though different from yours have taught me it is ok to be sad, mad or just crappy. The only way we can bounce up is to first bounce down. I know that your strong faith and resilience will get you through.

  2. I’m sorry for your losses…I hope the days start getting brighter soon. I know it’s not the same at all, but my boyfriend unexpectedly passed away about a year ago and it’s hard, but especially hard on the anniversary of his death, birthday, etc. But then the days get a little brighter again.

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