Opening My Door…

Before I begin, I’m not trying to turn this into a super serious blog. I’ve just had a few things on my mind lately, and this happens to be a good outlet for me to express myself.

Confession: I used to be a very judgmental person.

Technically, I still am, but God is redeeming that ugly part of me, so I don’t claim it as my current identity. I also used to be obsessed with perfection, particularly in my own achievements, and am also being healed of that. But I believe my desire for perfection is what drives the judgment. High expectations of self = high (unreasonable) expectations of others.

I guess through this transformation that is taking place in my life, I am now more aware than ever of the judgment that goes on around us all. I have posted about this on my personal Facebook page, read and shared blogs on the subject, and have had countless conversations with various people about it.

The more I think about it, the more I’m realizing how we (or maybe just me) are living in this weird dichotomy of longing for authenticity, but are too ashamed of our imperfections to openly share what is really happening in our lives.

My sister and I have joked that we would post a picture of the current state of our kitchens on Facebook to see people’s reactions.

But here is my question. If I were (or we were) to be completely open and honest in these social media forums where it is so easy to project some fallacious idea of ourselves, what would be the response?

Well, I’m going to find out. This is what my kitchen looks like. right. now.

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Truthfully, the only reason it looks this good is because I spent a large portion of the day cleaning. And even though that broom has been in the corner for a week, I have yet to sweep. The bowl on the sink ledge is full of bacon grease, but we haven’t had bacon in the house in over a week. There is a pile of papers on the bookshelf that I just don’t know what to do with. There’s a lid on the floor next to the pack ‘n’ play that I’ve walked by 1,000 times today and have yet to pick it up.

The reason I share all of this is because I am guilty of both longing for authenticity but also trying to make my life look perfect on these various social media outlets (and in person, for that matter). While sharing my thoughts and opinions with people, I always consider how it will come across to others, but not in the sense that I don’t want to offend. I do it in the sense that I want to make sure I am showing that I have my life together.

These photos are a very shallow depiction of how my life isn’t perfect. From time to time, I get the energy and/or desire to get things in order and make it all pretty and ready for others to view, assuming we have scheduled that viewing with ample time for me to get everything back to a state of perfection.

But this post is me opening my front door in my pjs, no make-up, letting you into my house unannounced, and allowing you to see and think whatever you want. Will you do the same?

I am tired of the fa├žade. Let’s be real with one another. And let’s not judge when someone’s life doesn’t meet the unrealistic expectations that we project onto others–when we probably don’t meet those expectations ourselves.

I hope that this post may help to continue the conversation about authenticity and not judging others for the things that make them human.

Love you all.

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